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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

You were not there when I cried my heart out;
when I broke down and cried so badly I thought I was never going to stop.
You ignore my tears and laugh them off.
You didn't care... that while you were happy;
somewhere, someone was hurting.
You calculated everything so you wouldn't get hurt.
Without a care for me.

Now I know where I stand in your life.
And I'm moving on.
Because I still have people who care for me.
Who would never hurt me like you did.
Who, regardless of who I am, will never judge me.
Who loves me for who I am.

I'm through with this.
____________

I can't wait for halloween party later! :D

Quote of the day
"You calculated everything so you wouldn't get hurt. Without a care for me."
Choi Han Kyul, Coffee Prince

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 10:33 AM

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Doing favours is not an obligation. I'm perfectly fine with helping people out as much as I can but when people tell me, "You should...", sometimes I just feel so unappreciated. I am not a help hotline that you can demand things from. 1800-call-mylia can exist... if you ask nicely, and understand that while I will do my best to help, occasionally I can't be of assistance. I try my very best. But please don't take advantage of my willingness to help.

It's so silly...
I want to hug you so badly...
Eventhough I know it's impossible.

Of daisies & lavender. Hidden love. Waiting for love. (:

Quote of the day
I imagine you by my side
Before I completely lose you
Jay Chou - Secret that can't be told

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 8:34 PM

Monday, October 22, 2007

I finally watched Il Mare and Daisy! Jeon Ji Hyun & Jung Woo Sung made me cry so much during Daisy. :( And Il Mare wasn't as sad as I expected it to be. I need to catch up on my Korean movies & dramas really. Especially those tearjerkers. It'll be something to look forward to during my holidays. Watching into the wee hours of the morning. HAHA. :D

What happens...
when doing favours becomes something expected of you?
when I love yous no longer mean anything?
when you want to hide your sadness but you can't and the tears just overflow?
when you feel like you just can't trust anymore?
when you really wish you could find it in yourself to smile despite everything but you still can't?

I feel so broken, so tired.
Maybe it's better not to care so much.
Then I wouldn't feel hurt all the time.

Quote of the day
Some people might just enjoy and spit out love like a piece of gum, but for some they would die for love
Moo Hyuk; I'm sorry, I love you

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 4:21 PM

Saturday, October 20, 2007

School hasn't been all that bad lately. With a standard timetable which ends at 1.10pm everyday... It gives us quite a bit of time to just hang out with friends!~ Although on Thursday, our PW WR was screwed up and we ended up having to stay back till nearly 7pm to amend it. T_T Sorry I couldn't meet you Sam... :( I'll go to Canada to visit you someday~

Raya's been quite good so far... I guess. HAHA. (:

Yesterday, helped Jon & May with their PW 'photoshoot'. XD While Nasri, Melissa & Wendy were playing around in the tennis courts and Ting was playing Touch Rugby. HAHA. And yes Nasri, you're right. We do have a huge clique. HAHA. XD

And today... I collected my MINWOO M Live Works concert DVD!!! Alright!~ :D

I love chatting to Anne. HAHA. She's so cute and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

(3:21 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: OMG
(3:21 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: HES SUPER CUTE
(3:22 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: DATE HIM
(3:22 PM) ; LEE.MYLIA: HAHA I WANT TO.
(3:22 PM) ; LEE.MYLIA: T_T
(3:22 PM) ; LEE.MYLIA: Can't he ask me out. Damn it. xD
(3:22 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: wtf
(3:22 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: shut up
(3:22 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: you're hot
(3:22 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: i'd ask you out
(3:23 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: if i was a boy
(3:23 PM) 〃 hj.hy。相信我,相信: HAHAHAHA

I want to indulge in some Coffee Prince therapy.

Quote of the day
Hold my hand,
don’t let go of me
I love you, till the day I close my eyes in rest
As One - White Love Story

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 10:35 PM

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Okay, upon Adz's request... XD

Layer 1: On the outside.
Name: Amylia
Birthdate: 13th June 1990
Current Status: MARRIED to Lee Min Woo XD
Eye colour: Black I think
Hair Colour: Dark brown? HAHA.

Layer 2: On the inside.
My heritage: Javanese & Chinese & a Korean soul. XD
My fears: Losing my loved ones, disappointing/hurting loved ones
My weaknesses: Korean entertainment & chocolate & LEE MIN WOO XD
My perfect pizza: Chicken, capsicum, BBQ sauce, cheese... :D

Layer 3: yesterday, today, tomorrow.
My first thought of waking up: "I need to get up already? :("
My bedtime: 12MN
My most missed memories: Shinhwa SG experience, PAE period, Secondary school years, primary school years, moments with my brother...

Layer 4: My pick.
Pepsi or coke: Coke. all the way!
Macdonalds or Burger King: Burger King.
Single or group dates: Single. (:
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Tea or Nestea: Tea!~ What is Nestea?! HAHA. Tea is yummy. Freshly brewed green tea is the love! Chinese tea. Teh tarik. I LOVE TEA.
Cappucino or Coffee: Coffee~ PRINCE. HAHA. XD

Layer 5: Do you?
Smoke: No and I run away from second-hand smoke. Ugh.
Curse: Hardly... HAHA.
Take a shower: YES. Duh.
Have a crush: I don't even want to go there.
Go to school: Sadly, stuck in the system. HAHA.
Believe in yourself: Hardly.
Think you’re a health freak: I wish I was more of a health freak. XD

Layer 6: In the past
Drink alcohol: Nope. Although I do wish sometimes I could get myself drunk silly.
Gone to the mall: Quite a bit yes.
Been on stage: Yep yep yep. :D
Dyed your hair: Nope.

Layer 7: Have you ever..?
Played a stripping game: Ehh, not my cup of tea! XD
Change who you were, to fit in: Doesn't everyone? Consciously or not.

Layer 8: Are you hoping to
Get married: Hmmm. Tough question. I don't know anymore.

Layer 9: In a partner
Best eye colour: I honestly don't care.
Best hair colour: Whichever suits him best.
Long or short hair: Depends on how he looks with it. HAHA.

Layer 10: What were you doing?
A minute ago: This quiz
An hour ago: Having dinner
A Month ago: Studying for promos & watching coffee prince? HAHA.
A Year ago: Preparing for 'O' levels

Layer 11: Finish the sentences..
I love... my loved ones. XD
I hate... the way I am.
I hide... my feelings a lot.
I miss... the feeling of happiness.
I need... to lose 12kg.

Layer 12: Tag 5 people (In No Ranking Order of Importance)
Do if you want to. HAHA.

I'm letting go... because I don't think I can hold on anymore.
My heart hurts too much just being the way I am.
I just want you to be happy.
So fly away love.

Quote of the day
My sighs and yearning for you continue to pile up
I'm fighting with time because I miss you so much
Eru - Because It’s The Two of Us

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 7:49 PM

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I can't wait for project work & Malay 'A' levels to end so that I can watch good dramas and catch up on dramas I'm supposed to watch months ago. HAHA.

Amazing how much has changed in just months. After all that has happened around me... I realise that love is synonymous with pain. And I am reminded of something TING said before. "I don't think any of us in this class know what love is." And seeing the relationships around me, I have to admit that it's quite true.

Love isn't something immature. It's not meant to be use as a tool to force someone to do something, to use it as a threat. That's not love. And love is not supposed to be demanding, it's not supposed to be obsessive or possessive.

I'm an idealist when it comes to love. I wish that my first love will also be my last, no matter how seemingly impossible that is. Aish. I know I'm silly. HAHA. But yeah, when you've seen so many failed relationships, negative relationships, relationships you know you NEVER want to get into... Somehow, you start to think a lot about love. Well, that's just me at least.

In this particular situation I'm in, my feelings do not matter at all. And I've accepted that and moved on. After all, expect nothing and you can never be disappointed. "When you're in love you can get carried away." How true, how true.

But I'm going to make sure I don't get carried away. Hey, I'm too heavy to be carried. HAHAHA. XD And it's harder to find a best friend than a boyfriend. I'm definitely not going to ever sacrifice HA^3 for any guy mann. I promise you girls that. (:

Quote of the day
Wanting to do everything for them, I learned that that was love.
Park Hyo Shin - Snowflakes

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 5:48 PM

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Why is it so hard? I'm slowly breaking inside.

I'll just let things be. (: Everyone else already seems fine so I've decided to let it go.

Mylia is good at bottling things up. She has a pretty huge capacity for sadness. :P

I wish I could be the one to make you smile.
But I'd be content just seeing you happy everyday.
Even if it's not because of me.
Even if it means I can never be near you.
Is this love?
It really hurts.
But I can't stop.

Quote of the day
I sincerely try and wish that I'd be your different today,
that you'd smile to me like that.
Byul - Saving My Best For You

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 8:09 PM

Friday, October 05, 2007

A makcik (middle-aged malay woman) stole my seat today. I was waiting near a table for the occupants to finish their dinner so that my friends and I could have our dinner when this woman simply asked her children to sit the moment the previous family left. OMG. I was remarking about how rude she was and that it isn't nice to do that (in Malay, mind you. HAHA.) and she ignored me. T_T

So I guess I'm just like that. Easy to bully. Such a pushover. I guess that's how I look to you. Babo Mylia. I think I'm hanging on to a fraying rope.

I can't wait to see my HA^3 and SHCJ girls again!~ We shall take loads of photo and be happy! And we need to catch up BIG time! I wanna know what's happening in your lives, girls! :D

Watching Coffee Prince makes me wanna fall in love. All the guys there are so loveable!~ HANKYUL. SUNKI. HARIM. MIIIIINE. HAHA. Oh gosh. Korean drama guys are the sweetest things ever!

Lee Min Woo, you make me broke seriously. Your cap design is so nice I am tempted to buy all the colours. T_T And why are you looking sexier and sexier and more gorgeous by the day? I LIKE. :D HAHA.

thMEL : I like to play BINGO. Such a mindless game.

HAHA. True true. XD Mindless and loads of fun. XD

I need to stop watching Disney repeats. They keep making me cry. HAHA. T_T So nice.
And I need to stop singing sad songs in my room. XD

Quote of the day
"I must've looked like such a pushover."
Choi Han Kyul, Coffee Prince

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 11:04 PM

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Deleted the previous post. I'm going to place my more personal posts in LJ from now on. Limited access means only people I trust can read those posts. :D

I like this quote of the day. Makes perfect sense to me. (:

OMG 1 more paper and my mid-course is OVERRRRR. I am so excited! :D Now, I just hope I get promoted so that I can be happy this holidays and get a part-time job and earn some money to support my fandoms. :P

I hate having to hold a torch for someone. It's tiring and it hurts. And the worst thing is I can't help it.

Quote of the day
"When a problem stays with someone for a long time, it’s because there’s a good enough reason for it. It’s not for nothing."
Choi Han Kyul, Coffee Prince

Amylia. is living the "M" style ! 9:00 AM